As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to have a negative impact on society, there are now indications multiple governors, legislators, and government agencies may propose a Santa Claus travel ban, fearing a coronavirus spike.
Evidently, certain health experts assert Legendary Figures, such as Santa Claus, present a unique threat of spreading the COVID-19 virus due to their worldwide travels, despite the fact that social distancing has been incorporated into their practices for centuries.
Consequently, if the proposal actually sees the light of day, there could also be travel bans placed on the Easter Bunny, Cupid, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman, and various other Legendary Figures.
Is Santa Claus Comin’ to Town?
In response to the potential travel ban, Santa Clause today released the following statement:
“The children of the world have nothing to fear and I will make my Christmas Eve flight as normal. Nothing can stop Christmas from happening and no one will stand in the way of Santa making his rounds.
“First and foremost, despite the handwringing of some so-call experts, Santa Claus and all Legendary Figures are immune to all diseases and pathogens. Simply put, I cannot contract nor spread the coronavirus, neither can Mrs. Claus, my reindeer nor the elves.
“Regardless, this is not the first time government officials have attempted to ban Santa from making deliveries, labeling me a criminal and outlaw. I’m sure many have seen the 1970 docudrama ‘Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town‘.
“In my early days, before my worldwide tradition of delivering gifts on Christmas Eve, I began by delivering toys to the children of a gloomy little city called Sombertown. It was run by an authoritarian know as the Burgermeister Meisterburger, who banned both toys and me.
“Did that stop Santa? No! Being labeled a criminal and outlaw only made me more committed to my mission to bring happiness to children. I have seen the inside of a jail cell before, more than once. I’m not afraid of going to jail again. #ThugLife
“Bottomline, as always, Santa Clause will visit the homes of all children who believe in him, with parent or guardian permission. Santa Claus is comin’ to town on Christmas Eve 2020.”
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